I like to think of my birthday as a holiday because another year of life is always worth celebrating! The older I get, the more appreciative I am for every minute that I’m given in this life. While I used to wake up with an innocent child-like enthusiasm for cake and presents, I’ve shifted to something much deeper. A strong connection to my inner self that inspires me to grow in new ways each year.
The first time I had what I call “Birthday Revelations”, I woke up on my birthday with a sense of weightlessness. I remember just sitting in bed and looking around my room as the sun made the walls glow in soft yellow light. After weeks of running myself crazy with class assignments as I prepared to end my junior year of college, I suddenly felt at peace. Instead of feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I was lighter than a feather.
Since that year, I’ve woken up with either a sense of reassurance or direction. The solution to a problem I’d been mulling over would be on the forefront of my mind. My worries would fade away as I opened my eyes.
This year was a little different, though. When I woke up on my birthday, I felt nothing. I mean, I was pretty well-rested and relaxed, but that was it. When I tried to figure out why that I was, I understood that I’d had this revelation already. I didn’t need that special birthday dose of assurance or direction because I’d found it in the previous weeks.
What I’d realized was that I used to think I was on a constant timer for success. I thought that if I didn’t reach a certain level by a certain age, that it would mean I was a failure. I’ve struggled with that idea for years and it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I took a moment to pause and really consider it. While I’m not exactly where I wanted to be at this age, I can’t deny that I’ve gotten a lot closer in the last year. I went from being uncertain of what I wanted to do with my life, to narrowing my focus and finding a path.
This new path requires me to take some major steps out of my comfort zone and into unknown territory. I have to dedicate time to working on not only the skills I need to reach my goals, but on managing the unfavorable traits and habits that have been holding me back. I have to take better care of myself to maintain the balance I need for improved decision making.
On the surface it sounds like a lot of work and no fun. However, I know that if I shy away from the challenge, I’ll simply remain as a seed that has yet to bloom.
Thoughts and Ideas I’m Carrying Through the Year
- Instead of revisiting past mistakes or negative feelings, I’ll work on healing, letting go, and moving forward
- Some of the most rewarding paths can be the ones without a map
- Embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn
- Always remember to take care of me